Playlist Book Tag
Hello everyone. My blog has mainly been a place for reviews but I decided to try something different. Today I'm going to be doing the playlist book tag.
This tag is one where you shuffle one of your playlists and decide on a book that reminds you of the song in some way. I will be doing this with four songs
Trigger Warning: I will be talking about past experiences with suicidal actions along with mental illness so please be mindful when reading.
1. Worst Of You by Maisie Peters - Tessa and Hardin After
This song one-hundred percent reminds me of the toxic and all consuming relationship of Tessa and Hardin. The song has lines such as:
"Give me your worst excuses any reason to stay."
"Why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again."
"Go on and walk all over me, just don't walk away."
"Give me the worst of you, 'cause I want you anyway."
Lines like these truly ring true to the way these two can't stay away from each other no matter how detrimental the relationship is for both of them. It's a relationship where you know how unhealthy the dynamic is but can't help rooting for them due to their undeniable chemistry.
Is it something people should strive for in real life? No. But is it entertaining as hell? Yes.
2. Revelation by Troye Sivan - Looking For Alaska by John Green
All of John Green's books come with an underlying theme that pushes the readers perceptions and takes the things we often take for granted and shows them in a new light.
I'm going to get personal here and admit something I rarely ever talk about. I read this book while I was forcefully hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I was in a very low place and it was one of the few books the staff let me have, it was paperback because hardbacks weren't allowed for fear of patients using them to harm themself and others - like most things were prohibited.
This book came to me at a time when I needed it and is one that holds a special place in my world. It reminds me of those first days after the fact and how I struggled to be a fully formed person again and not just an endless abyss of darkness and hatred.
This book covers things like being obsessed with famous last words and looking for the "great perhaps". And I wanted a great perhaps, which we can debate what that means later, and I wanted to stay alive long enough to experience that.
Revelation reminds me of this book because it is a song that makes me think of the great perhaps and everything it entails. Maybe it's not the same - or maybe it's exactly that - but, no matter, it reminds me that a great perhaps is out there somewhere.
3. Happier by Bastille and Marshmello - Bella and Edward New Moon ****This particular review contains spoilers****
So by now I think everyone and their mother knows about Twilight and has read it. If you haven't than you're a true gem.
Anyways, I hated these books the first time I read them. I was going through that phase that a lot of preteen girls go through where they are being conditioned to shun away from femininity in order to be "not like other girls."
Basically I associated twilight with the femininity and love of reading I often saw ridiculed by others who called it "just a girl thing."
And damn right it's a girl thing, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Feminist rant aside - I picked these books up again in 2018 to give them another chance. I started them as a buddy read with my bestie Becca on instagram and I ended up loving them more than I anticipated I would.
I'm not going to even try to explain my thoughts on the nuance from a literature standpoint because I honestly didn't keep notes while reading these books. I wanted it to just be a purely enjoyable experience that wasn't about analyzing its' validity. And, when viewed that way, I loved them.
These books just made me smile and laugh and root for a love story I was way too invested in. They didn't have to be anything more. But guess what, I loved every second of them.
This song reminds me so much of the breakup between Edward and Bella in New Moon. It was a total mess of miscommunication that combined with Edward's self-loathing to create the perfect storm that lead to their separation.
Edward truly believed he was bad for Bella, that she'd be better off without him. But he loved her ever still and didn't want to leave her.
Despite this love, he knew he had to leave: "I want to see you smile but know that means I'll have to leave. Lately I've been thinking, I want you to be happier."
4. Half Light by Banners - Turtles All The Way Down
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I'm about to tell another personal story so buckle up.
Turtles All the Way Down is a story about a character named Aza Holmes who struggles with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I personally have OCD, like Aza, and found it so refreshing to see a character like me.
In the book's description it is stated that "She is living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts" which I think is a very accurate depiction of what living with OCD is like. It's constantly being suffocated by your own thoughts and fears.
Halflight by Banners is a song that has always resonated with me in terms of my own struggles. It's a song that reminds me of OCD and how you sometimes only live a "half life".
Maybe other's don't interpret it this way, but it's always been a song I go to when I'm having a bad day with my OCD and because of that it reminds me of Aza.
#bookish #booktag #bookstagram #mentalillness #suicide #bookishthoughts
